Peter Schroeder
 

Blog


29.09.2020

THC & Zwölfzylinder

Liebe Freunde,

in dem unermesslichen Kanon lebensintensivierender Weisheiten findet sich auch diese: ein Mann soll in seinem Leben einen Sohn zeugen, einen Baum pflanzen, ein Haus bauen und einen Zwölfzylinder fahren.

Die ersten drei Pflichten wurden fälschlicherweise Martin Luther zugeschrieben, der ja zumindest für den Sohn eine Empfehlung gegeben hatte:  In der Woche zwier, schaden weder ihm noch ihr, macht im Jahre hundertvier. Tatsächlich stammt es aber aus dem Talmud. Dabei wird für den Sohn nur ein leistungsfähiges Y-Chromosom mit der kleinen SRY-Gensequenz benötigt.

Das Haus lässt der Mann wahrscheinlich bauen, es sei denn, er ist Maurer oder Zimmermann. Für den Baum benötigt der Mann nur einen Spaten und einen Setzling, ist aber in der modernen Welt vergesellschaftet, von der man hört, dass eine ökologische Schandtat, wie z.B. ein Zwölfzylinder mit einem Baum gebüßt werden kann.

Bleibt also noch dieser Zwölfzylinder, der die männliche To-Do-Liste komplettieren soll. Wie Der Spiegel im Oktober 1972 berichtete, war das komplette Lastenheft mit den vier Pflichten ein Werbegag  der Firma Jaguar für deren Zwölfzylindermotoren, die vor allem den E-Type zu einer Ikone machten. Wenn man so will, hatte das Modell einen Makel. Als für James Bond ein Fahrzeug gesucht wurde, musste der Aston Martin DB 5 herhalten, aber auch nur weil Jaguar-Chef Sir William Lyons angesichts der weltweiten Verkaufserfolge der Meinung war, diese Art der Werbung nicht zu brauchen.

Im Film wurde der E-Type zum B-Promi,  als Dienstwagen von Jerry-Cotton, dem G-man aus den gleichnamigen Groschenromanen, die am Bahnhofskiosk neben Landser, Lassiter oder Dr. Norden zu bestaunen waren ( zu einer Zeit, als es an Bahnhöfen noch eine Gepäckannahme gab). Die G-men sind in der Abendunterhaltung längst öffentlich-rechtlich besoldeten Soko- und Hafen-Polizei-Kommissaren gewichen und auch Marika Röck machte, vor 16 Jahren verstorben, schon lange  vorher nicht mehr briefmarkengrosse Heft-Reklame für Hormocenta, einem Placentaextrakt (Placentubex verjüngt und strafft die Haut, Den Zauber der Jugend erhalten) Stattdessen lernen wir heute über OTC-Wirkstoffe, die bei Reizdarm, Flatulenzen oder anderen Unruhezuständen Abhilfe schaffen sollen -  mit anderen Worten: die Qualität der Unterhaltung und der Werbung hat sich im Laufe der Jahrzehnten kaum verändert, man muss nur nicht mehr umblättern.

Jetzt gilt es, endlich die Kurve zum „eigenen“ Zwölfzylinder zu kriegen. Der Schreiber dieser Aufsätze fährt eine Lotus Elise, die zum Erhalt ihrer Jugend in die Werkstatt musste. Ein Ersatzteil fehlte und die Dauer der Beschaffung lässt ahnen, dass es mit Dingen aus England zukünftig noch schwieriger werden könnte, weswegen das morgendliche Weetabix-Fühstück Gefahr läuft, durch Kölln-kernige Bio-Haferflocken ersetzt zu werden. Die Werkstatt bot großzügig ein Produkt aus Zuffenhausen, alternativ einen Ferrari in der Variante 456 M GTA als Ersatz an. Zwölf Zylinder! Endlich konnte die letzte Aufgabe bewältigt werden. (Für Formel 1 Afficionados: als Lotus die Weltmeister- und Konstrukteurs-Titel gewann, fuhr Ferrari ungefähr da, wo sie sich in dieser Saison befinden und für Ferraristi: Elise schafft den Spurt Richtung 100 ebenfalls in 5,5 Sek. und braucht dafür keine 442 PS, dafür ist aber schon bei 220km/h Schluss und nicht erst bei 306, wenn auch „unsere“ A{utomatik}-Version nur 298 erreicht, welch ein Drama!).

Bei der ersten Ausfahrt waren, die wir tanken Shell und fahren schnell - Zapfsäulen (dem Ferrari-Sponsor) besetzt und der Tank wurde mit österreichischem Super+ gefüllt. Es dauerte eine Weile in der Schlange an der Kasse und währenddessen ließ sich ein Regal studieren, in dem Cannabiskaja als giftgrüne Spirituose angeboten wurde. Seit dem ehemaligen SPD-Verteidigungsminister Peter Struck wissen wir, dass Die Sicherheit der Bundesrepublik Deutschland auch am Hindukusch verteidigt (wird). Dass der Hindukusch resp. das Hanf-Anbauland Afghanistan schon bei Rosenheim beginnt, war bisher unbekannt, denn das namensgebende Cannabis/FRIEDA 7 stammt aus einer Anpflanzung in der Nähe dieser Stadt (für Nordlichter: ein Ort in Oberbayern), wird dort von Hand geerntet und Blatt für Blatt Gin, Wodka oder Absinth hinzugegeben. Der Hersteller versichert, dass der Gehalt an THC/Tetrahydrocannabinol innerhalb der legalen Schwelle liegt und nur dazu diene, den natürlichen Charakter der Spirituose zu unterstreichen und die grüne Farbe durch Zugabe des Pflanzenfarbstoffes Chlorophyll erreicht würde.

Der Tank war gefüllt und die quattrocentoquarantadue cavalli durften rennen. Nach einer Weile fragte die Gattin, ob dieser Ferrari auch schneller als auf dem Tacho gezeigt fahren könne - „mistaken“ - denn, weil der Wagen in seinem ersten Leben den US-Highway No.1 befahren hatte, waren auf dem speedometer in großen weißen Ziffern 100/120 (mls/hr) zu sehen. Eine Geschwindigkeit, gerade noch diesseits der 200, nicht bemerkbar, aber genießbar in einer langgezogenen Linkskurve. Ein leichter Tritt aufs Gaspedal und die 220 des Lotus und mehr waren fix erreicht. Es soll jetzt hier kein Autotest werden, aber das Beeindruckende war die mittlere Spur im Tempolimit, mit dem, was so als Laufruhe bei entspanntem zügigem Vorwärtskommen bezeichnet wird, während sich der Audi-Raudi mit seinen RS-PS die Pole-Position vor dem nächsten Blitzer sicherte. Dabei als musikalische Untermalung die Songs aus Chris Rea´s  bezaubernden Film La Passione. Ich weiß, dass „bezaubernd“ eher aus dem Sprachschatz von Marika Röck entstammt, heute wird es in einem Tweet vermutlich „g..l“ heißen.

Das natürliche Habitat eines 456 M GTA ist bestimmt die Corniche oder der Wilshire Boulevard. Letzterer gab allerdings die Bühne für einen Lotus Esprit, den Edward Lewis zu nutzen versuchte, um Hooker Vivian abzuschleppen. Wer nicht weiß, was ein Hooker ist und Pretty Woman nicht gesehen hat, kann das auf www.dict.leo.org nachlesen oder hier: You’d call her a slut or a whore, but not a hooker, because a hooker does it for money. A hooker in AE is definitely a prostitute, whereas a whore….

Für den Moment gewähren wir der Nördlichen Hauptstraße am Tegernsee ebenfalls den Status eines Boulevards.  Allen drei Boulevards ist gemein, dass man zumeist in Stau und Schau steht. Während über die Corniche irgendwann St. Tropez erreichbar ist, führt die Hauptstraße in weiterem Sinne auf den Großen Ahornboden, schon in Österreich, unserem Wochenend-Ausflugsziel. Wir kamen uns ein bisschen vor wie Ingrid Bergmann und Roberto Rossellini, die einst in einem Ferrari 212 Europa durchquerten, um in Stockholm einen Filmpreis in Empfang zu nehmen und die Garderobe auf einem Dachgepäckträger transportierten. Wir, der Autor hat auch schon einen Buchpreis (2.Platz) ergattert, den es in Köln abzuholen galt, entnahmen dem Kofferraum nur Rucksack und Bergschuhe.

Oben auf dem Gipfel stellte sich bei toller Weitsicht die Frage, ob das Ziel, ein Mann evtl. ein besserer oder liebevollerer Mann zu sein, nach rund 300 Kilometer im Zwölfzylinder erreicht sei.
Geklärt wurde das bei einer Flasche Champagner am Spätnachmittag.

Beste Grüße

Peter (Schroeder)
www.peter-schroeder.eu

Der Autor dankt der Firma Mirbach & Co KG in Anzing für den 456.

Peter Schroeder - 12:07 @ Allgemein, Motorsport, Gesellschaft | 196 Kommentare

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  8. best paying australian online casinos

    18.05.2026

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  9. new legit online casinos australia

    18.05.2026

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  10. mobile online casino australia neosurf

    18.05.2026

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  11. high roller casino perks

    19.05.2026

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  12. no deposit bonus codes 2026

    19.05.2026

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  13. is online casino safe

    20.05.2026

    Casabet is a great real money casino online for Aussie players
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  14. best Aussie online casinos for real money

    20.05.2026

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